It hurt but I see it from the lady's point of view.

[peacefulriver]

A couple of days ago I called my doctor's office so I could re-schedule an appointment. I don't like talking on the phone and especially with people that I don't know. I use the phone every day so I've had to learn how to talk on the phone so people can understand what I'm saying. I've been stuttering since I was a young child. I don't remember a time that I didn't. I called and a lady picked up. I started to stutter and I tried very hard to slow down. It just wasn't working. Sometimes I have trouble saying my name so she asked for me to say my name again. As the conversation progressed my stuttering got worse because the lady was drawing attention to my speech. When I finally made my appointment and got the information usually the 2 people say thank you, have a good day, and bye. She said have a good day but then she said "Are you OK? Do you need some help?". I said "No, no thank you", we both said bye and hung up. It really hurt me that she said that. I do understand why she said that, she must have been worried that I was in some kind of trouble and of course she didn't know that I stutter. I don't just go up and tell everyone that I stutter so they can be "prepared". She didn't know me and I didn't know her so I guess it was more awkward than anything. I just wish that people would stop correcting my speech while I'm trying to get the words out or look at me like there is something wrong with me. I wish some people would be more understanding of people that stutter.

[Jason]

I find that if I stutter badly I let the person know that I have a stutter. Especially if it is on the phone.

Just remember what they are getting on there end. They recieve a call, they cannot see you. I do not know what your stutter is like but often it is hard to tell on their end what is going on. When I stutter it is a block and often the block is silent before the word comes out. Many times people have hung up on me thinking that I am a prankster. Because of this if I am making a call of any length I inform them that I stutter and ask them for a little patience.

I have been on several speech courses and have spoken at length about other people's experiences. The people I have met have recieved everything from being hung up to abuse. However they find that 99% of the time phone calls go a lot more smoothly if they tell the person they are speaking to that they stutter.

She asked if you needed any help.. whats your stutter like? If you spent most of your time pushing out your words and was out of breath then maybe she thought you sounded like you was in pain... like I said above, she won't know what is going on unless you tell her.

[warrick]

Hi peacefulriver,
yes, I am sure a lot of us know all to well how difficult some phone calls can be. I too have stuttered all my life and have spent a lot of time over the years hurt and upset about peoples reactions to my stutter. It is only in recent years that I am realising that generally people spend their day (just like we do) simply trying to do the best they can with the challanges they face during their day, and in most cases mean no disrespect or harm to anyone else. So often people read into someones actions, thinking it was all about them, when really the other person could have had any number of events during the day that would make any one of us act exactly the same (or at least understand there they were coming from).

So I generally make a conscious decision to always assume the best about people and that people generally mean no disrespect towards me. Who knows, they may just be having a really bad day and perhaps deserve my sympathy. I have found that this belief has taken a lot of the tension that can build up about given situations (like phone calls) and in turn, has helped my speech for the better.

Anyway, thank you for the great post and your willingness to discuss these personal issues with us.

[RebeccaApril]

I have a hard time on the phone too, and i tend to go out of the room when i make a phone call or just agonize in my head for about half an hour before i make the call, which of course makes my stutter worse. Yet when i call and stutter bad or not so bad i still have that sigh of relief afterwards and i feel good, because even though i stutter and i get very anxious on the phone..i still make the call..SOMETIMES!
When talking to family about it, they just tell me..just do it..people dont care if you stutter..blah blah. It drives me nuts, because i dont think they understand me at all and just dont think it is a big deal, when my mind is racing in fifty million directions constantly due to my stuttering. How do everyone's families think of their stutter? supportive...understanding?

[warrick]

How do everyone's families think of their stutter? supportive...understanding?

Great question RebeccaApril. So much so that I feel it deserves its own thread.

http://www.fluencyquest.com/forum/showthread.php?t=54