Question To All

[Jean Smith]

Looking for advice. I am new here. I am close to a person who has fluency issues and am looking for advice.

The person affected is someone I greatly admire and respect. This person has their own business. I strongly urged a friend to consider using the services of this business.

Before these two people made any contact I was trying to promote one to the other. I shared business advice and personality advice as a means of paving the way for a successful business relationship. I typically do this with all business/social networking situations.

One thing I did was share with person seeking business service that the admired friend had "speech issues." This was not a put down, merely a way to let them know in case anything emerged during the conversation. I was trying to protect the person I admire-I did not want the other person to rush my friend over the telephone.

Here's what happened-somehow in emailing back and forth to these two people, I forwarded part of the email extolling the talents and also speech issues to affected friend. Nothing bad was said-really all good things-but I did feel awful.

I imediately sent an email to recipient. I explained my reasons and also apologized whole heartedly. My intention was never to hurt-but I did.

Person handled this graciously and said not to worry-but I did and still do.

Advice/opinions greatly appreciated. Would you prefer a business or personal friend to share any speech issues with another contact? Please remember, I
was trying to ensure a smooth business call.

FWIW, the two people did hit it off in a business sense and will work together on an important project.

thanks in advance

Jean

[warrick]

Hi Jean,
Great post and thank you for taking the time to find out more about what it is like to live with speak difficulties. It is obvious that you are a very caring and thoughtful individual who only had the best intentions towards the situation. You were open and honest about the situation and how you handled it. In my opinion you did nothing wrong. I know from my own experiences that usually speech difficulties will be revealled at some point, and I personally dread seeing the look on the other persons face when they first discover my difficulties, and usually this puts quite a strain on the rest of the conversation, usually to the point where we both cant wait to get it over with. By pre-warning someone, you are removing the element of surprise and potentially avoided any awkwardness in the situation.

Once again, your intentions were good and this usually shows through in the end, so dont be too worried about your friend. Speech issues are painful any time so your friend will be well equipped to deal with it themselves. The best thing I would advise is to talk to them and ask them how they would prefer you to handle similar situations in the future, and let them make the decision.

Once again, thank you for taking the time to write. I hope we get to hear from you again.

[Jean Smith]

Hi Warren

Thanks so much for your reply. As you pointed out, I was trying to help, not hurt. I just needed the opinion of others who may have experienced a similar situation.

What I have noticed about this particular person is their incredible vocabulary and writing skills.

As you have most likely heard, everybody has "something" but usually developsa "speciality" in other areas to make up for where they might lack.

Very important for all to find their true gift! You will profit emotionally and financially when you are passionate about something.

Thanks again

Jean

[Jason]

To be honest I would be quite annoyed if someone said that I had 'speech issues'. I do not have speech issues. I have a stutter. If you are going to discuss such issues you should use the correct term. 'Speech issues' is not very helpful or flattering.

I run my own business, I stutter as well. I appreciate it if someone refers me new business. I also appreciate it if someone tells this new contact that I stutter. I am pretty good at self advertising but always prefer it when people know that I stutter before calling.

In your case though I think that you should just ask your friend if you would like to tell new contacts that they stutter. The fact is that your friend can probably fend for themselves fairly well. They have probably taken a lot of calls etc etc. Find out what they think, I am sure you will find a friendly and helpful response.